What Matters Most While Wedding Planning

How to Not Lose Sight of What Matters Most While Wedding Planning

Sometimes, in the midst of wedding planning, we can lose the forest for the trees and get so bogged down in little decisions that we get overwhelmed. It is important to stop every once in a while and ask, “What really matters most about our wedding day”?

groom smiling at bride on behind barn glass doors at Castle Hill Cider

What are you doing all this for?

So friends, let’s take a pause right now. Put down your phone or computer, close your eyes, and take a deep breath. Then ask yourself, “What am I doing all this for? Why am I planning a wedding?”










If you’re like most people, you may have said something along the lines of: “Because I have found the person I want to share the rest of my life with, and I want all the people we love most to be there to celebrate with us.”

There we have it. Whatever it is you said to yourself, that is your most important thing. When I was planning my own wedding 8 years ago, the best advice I got was this: “Just remember that at the end of the day, as long as you get married, that’s all that really matters. Everything else is a bonus.” 

I hope that this reminder can help you in your journey as you plan your own wedding. Yes, there are dresses to be tried on and florals to be chosen, but remember that all these are not the most central thing about your day.

What will matter to you years from now about your wedding?

Another question to ask yourself when you get overwhelmed and bogged down with planning decisions is: “Will _____ matter to me 5 years from now?” If the answer is no, then it’s time to make a decision with the best information you have now and move on.

Now let’s reframe that a bit. What WILL matter to you 5 years from now as you look back on your wedding? What about 10 years? 30 years? 

Perhaps you said something like how strong your marriage relationship has become. Or the good things and hard things you’ve experienced together since you said your vows. Maybe it’s remembering the joy and love you felt from your community on your wedding day. Maybe it’s a family portrait with a loved one that is no longer with you anymore. 

Chances are, it’s got something to do with relationships. The choices you make in this wedding planning season have the power to strengthen or hinder your relationships. What are some ways you can choose to strengthen them? Here are some ideas.

  1. Do you see your wedding-related events as opportunities for people you love to gather together so they can develop stronger relationships with each other, as well as with you?
  2. Can you choose to compromise on a wedding decision with your fiance because your relationship matters more than that thing you really wanted?

best man helping groom put on jacket behind barn glass doors at Castle Hill Cider

Find wedding professionals who can help you with what matters most

Now that you’ve thought through and reminded yourself of what matters most to you while wedding planning, let’s talk something practical. The wedding vendors that you choose do matter. Finding people who care about your wedding day vision and who have the expertise to help you plan a day that will run smoothly will go a long way. Find people who can help bring your vision to life with expertise. That way, you can do what is most important to you and be fully present with the people you love on your wedding day.

I may be a wedding photographer and I’m passionate about capturing your wedding day in a beautiful way, but I wholeheartedly believe your wedding day is primarily about your relationships. I help couples craft photography plans and timelines in a way that you get stunning and meaningful photographs, and also spend quality time with loved ones.

True confession: on my own wedding day, I built 90 minutes into the timeline for bridal party portraits. We took a trolley around our college campus to take portraits everywhere while everyone else was enjoying quality time at cocktail hour. Guess how many of those photos I have hanging up in the house? None. What we did probably sounds crazy now. But I got married in a time where creative bridal party portraits were all over social media. I got sucked into the trend, to say the least. 

Closing Thoughts

Don’t do what I did. You still have a chance to design a wedding day to build a legacy that matters to you. I’m Lucy Jalin, a Charlottesville wedding photographer passionate about helping couples have stronger marriages and families. If you are planning a wedding in the Charlottesville area and the words above resonated with you, I’d love to chat

This post is part of a series on Relationships and Well-being While Wedding Planning. If you are interested in more posts like this, you can find the full series below:

Relationships & Well-being, Tips For Couples


What Matters Most While Wedding Planning

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